I'm scared to pull back my foreskin!):?

I still have my foreskin and I am still decided whether or not I want to keep my foreskin or not in the future, I'm more on the edge of keeping it though. Whenever I'm in the shower I pull it back as far as I can without going into a world of pain, and I clean around that part. The head of my penis isn't so sensitive that I can't touch it. I can touch it just fine but when I get about halfway through the head I panic and don't go any further. About a year ago I pulled it back too far and it slipped under the head of my penis and I was terrified I struggled to get it back around, and I did it before my circulation was cut. So what should I do about my foreskin? I know for a fact there is smegma build up down there and I just don't have the balls to pull it back all the way. When my penis is flacid-semierect I can pull it back half way no problem and feels like it can go back a bit more. When erect I can go back almost half way.